You know the difference between a Pirate and a Privateer? Not that we have privateers any more (sort of), though we do still have pirates. (Look it up, if you don’t know about this; pirates still operate and they are neither romantic nor fun, nor do they have even a hint of the Honor and Ethics that Johnny Depp’s Captain Jack showed [at least under pressure].)

A pirate is someone who steals, rapes, kills and laughs about it. He is also someone who is shot on sight (hanged, more usually) by all (more or less) right-thinking folks. A privateer, on the other hand is exactly a pirate but has documents from a government (such as from France or England, say, during any of the many French / English wars) and so can not be hanged on sight, as a pirate. You can defeat him in battle (there by killing him) but he can’t be killed outright just for being a privateer.(1) Sort that one out, if you can…

A privateer is legal. A pirate is not. Otherwise there’s no difference.

Surely this is the biggest argument against governments, yes?

Almost. Not quite. How about the fact that Wars happen only because of governments? Ask yourself: if there were no governments, no nations, would there be wars? This is a question open to some debate, but I’m incluined to say, no: if there were no governments and — therefore — no nations, then there’d be no wars. Or, at the least, many of the major causes for war would be gone.

This wouldn’t eliminate war lords and marching conquerors, but then they’re just Pirates, aren’t they? And we already know what to do with Pirates.(2)

Nor would it eliminate lunatic dictators nor dictator wanna-be’s, but if there are no nations, what could you be a dictator of? A corporation, of course, and that’s a conversation for another day.

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(1) Which reminds me of one of my favorite “why is that” questions. Why is it that spies are treated differently from soliders? Why aren’t spies, when caught, simply sent to the nearest POW camp? We have spies. They have spies. We have soldiers. They have soldiers. We have idiots giving orders to shoot, shoot, shoot. So do they. Generals aren’t treated more harshly, than soldiers, though they give the orders the “enemy” usually objects to. Why are spies treated differently?

(2) Not be confused with software pirates or computer pirates, who should simply be exiled from ever using a computer again. Nice, simple solution. Use of a computer is a privilege, not a right. Or course, then there’s also a very long (very very long) discussion that could take place on whether copyright is even still a valid concept or not, since the Internet came along. It’s easy to raise a tough, logical and sticky argument saying it’s not, but that would put a lot of lawyers out of business, wouldn’t it? To which I’m inclined to say, “And whom would that inconvenience?”

 

Categories: Society